The treatment of all treatments as a basic comedy
ironic ending
http://wheresmysammich.com/picture/8597/sure-i-will
What would life be like if I was dead?
There is a dead person on the ground in the backyard of a home.
Several characters stand idly by as they mourn the loss of their close friend.
A mom, girlfriend, brother, and best friend all stand and watch. The mom says “Oh god, why not me?” the girlfriend says “NO! GOD!” the brother says “I will never forget ya man.”
The best friend walks up to the cadaver slowly. He slowly goes down to his knees and places his hand on his shoulder. His eyes are burning with passion and says “Don’t worry man, i’ve already started my journey for the dragon balls.”
The best friend turns his head towards the crowd of relatives behind him and begins to walk away into the crowd and out of the scene.
The guy on the floor slowly starts to re-wake (awaken?) and whispers to the best friend “Its okay, it was only a nerf gun~!”
The best friend turns head swiftly to the guy on the floor.
Best friend walks up quickly to the best friend on the floor and and SLAPS him once so that he is knocked out.
Points his finger at friend and says “you’re supposed to be unconscious!”
The scene fades to black and we find ourselves at a bench.
The best friend is meeting with someone at the bench looking very suspicious.
The mysterious man has the dragon balls all in the suit case. The balls get handed off and do a silly handshake.
The scene fades to black and comes back to the backyard.
The best friend is walking in the backyard and finds that no one is there.
Looks inside the house and sees that the “dead” guy is no longer on the floor and instead inside eating at the dinner table.
Best friend walks in and says “didn’t i just--, but i thought--”
The mom interrupts and says “he was feeling perfectly fine until you slapped him in the face like a little girl. So i brought him inside for some soup :)”
Best friend dumbfounded. “I have the dragon balls in my car. I was going to resurrect you... how could you rob me of my only chance to bring you back to life! you’re a terrible friend i hate you!
(takes out gun)” now you’ll pay!”
Dude says “ i know whats the matter. you want a nerf gun battle.:
best friend “yes”
dude “lets go! let the war begin”
dodges behind chairs as fire is exchanged and neither side is hit.
girlfriend walks into the fray as the two are seen with on the floor barely able to support themselves
Girlfriend says, “you two seem to be out of bullets. You know how we settle a tie....”
The two instantly jump up and pick up swords and charge towards each other and drop the swords right before they meet up with each other and play rock paper scissors.
they tie again and again.
The girlfriend walks up and punches both of them.
She grabs a gun of her own and says I never actually liked you.
ironic ending
http://wheresmysammich.com/picture/8597/sure-i-will
What would life be like if I was dead?
There is a dead person on the ground in the backyard of a home.
Several characters stand idly by as they mourn the loss of their close friend.
A mom, girlfriend, brother, and best friend all stand and watch. The mom says “Oh god, why not me?” the girlfriend says “NO! GOD!” the brother says “I will never forget ya man.”
The best friend walks up to the cadaver slowly. He slowly goes down to his knees and places his hand on his shoulder. His eyes are burning with passion and says “Don’t worry man, i’ve already started my journey for the dragon balls.”
The best friend turns his head towards the crowd of relatives behind him and begins to walk away into the crowd and out of the scene.
The guy on the floor slowly starts to re-wake (awaken?) and whispers to the best friend “Its okay, it was only a nerf gun~!”
The best friend turns head swiftly to the guy on the floor.
Best friend walks up quickly to the best friend on the floor and and SLAPS him once so that he is knocked out.
Points his finger at friend and says “you’re supposed to be unconscious!”
The scene fades to black and we find ourselves at a bench.
The best friend is meeting with someone at the bench looking very suspicious.
The mysterious man has the dragon balls all in the suit case. The balls get handed off and do a silly handshake.
The scene fades to black and comes back to the backyard.
The best friend is walking in the backyard and finds that no one is there.
Looks inside the house and sees that the “dead” guy is no longer on the floor and instead inside eating at the dinner table.
Best friend walks in and says “didn’t i just--, but i thought--”
The mom interrupts and says “he was feeling perfectly fine until you slapped him in the face like a little girl. So i brought him inside for some soup :)”
Best friend dumbfounded. “I have the dragon balls in my car. I was going to resurrect you... how could you rob me of my only chance to bring you back to life! you’re a terrible friend i hate you!
(takes out gun)” now you’ll pay!”
Dude says “ i know whats the matter. you want a nerf gun battle.:
best friend “yes”
dude “lets go! let the war begin”
dodges behind chairs as fire is exchanged and neither side is hit.
girlfriend walks into the fray as the two are seen with on the floor barely able to support themselves
Girlfriend says, “you two seem to be out of bullets. You know how we settle a tie....”
The two instantly jump up and pick up swords and charge towards each other and drop the swords right before they meet up with each other and play rock paper scissors.
they tie again and again.
The girlfriend walks up and punches both of them.
She grabs a gun of her own and says I never actually liked you.
This treatment started out as a good concept but became really hard to follow towards the end and some of the actions began to stop making sense and seemed to be random and thrown together. The character seemed to be somewhat developed but would need work, and a theme seems to be lacking as well.
ReplyDeleteThe treatment doesnt seem to follow the log line you thought of for your film. It seems like an interesting concept for comedy. In the sense of the nonsense brand of humor. Its a bit hard to follow imagining it play out in my head, but I think if you really did everything right and didnt leave anything out it might end up being a good nonsense comedy film.
ReplyDelete